Open yourself to vulnerability
Vulnerability is often interpreted as weakness. From the ego perspective vulnerability is weak, powerless energy that you need to escape or hide from. So ego also seeks other approaches to escape from the vulnerability. Below you can find my and my sisters‘ example in what way ego can hide vulnerability:
I always wanted people to see me as strong, so I acted as being confident, secure about myself, although I felt within me fearful, very vulnerable, scared and lonely. I was very aware of all my emotions, but I hide it from other people by acting as being strong. But when I was alone and no one saw me, I was feeding from those emotions by being depressed, sad, feeling lonely and draining in the story of my life. The only person that knew my actual emotional state was my sister Karmen. She saw my emotional side which often turned out to be also reactive, aggressive, nervous and depressed with very low energy.
On the other side, my sister Karmen was a complete opposite of me. She has run away from her vulnerability. Not only that she did not allow people to see her emotions, but also she did not allow herself to feel the emotions. She was rejecting the vulnerable side away from her to the point where she completely stopped to feel her inner pains. Her inner pains are here referring as sadness, anger, resentments, etc. Later on, she was not aware of her emotions anymore. That also meant that gradually she did not feel joy and happiness as well. Years later she stopped also smiling. Karmen felt stuck in her life and asking herself why her life is not changing and evolving in the desired way. Also diseases and Illnesses as consequence arose in her life.
As you can see based on my and Karmen‘s example, we were both running away from vulnerability but both in a different way. Both examples are presenting unbalance way of living. Both examples create suffering and illnesses / diseases in life. But life can drastically shift and heal when you approach to vulnerability in conscious way, whether you are draining in the emotions or you are not aware of your emotions. Our vulnerability is actually space that holds our inner emotional wounds / scars. Until you are running away from those wounds, you cannot heal them. If you are draining in those wounds you are feeding them and not healing them. That is why it is important to open yourself to those wounds with presence, so that the healing can begin. And today I am sharing with you powerful approaches that will help you to:
- open yourself to vulnerability in the empowered, conscious way;
- heal those wounds in the way that they dissolve forever and
- to heal the wounds that creates diseases / illnesses and suffering.
STEPS to open yourself to vulnerability
to heal the wounds
1. “How do I feel?” or “What do I feel?”
are the question that you need to ask yourself every single day, many times throughout the day. When you ask yourself that question, I recommend you to be alone in silence and listen with alertness. By asking yourself that question you redirect your focus to your inner body and becoming gradually more aware of your inner state. The vulnerability awakens always by feeling the emotional wound / scar. If you are not aware of your emotions, they will come to the surface gradually by regular use of all the 5 golden tools to heal yourself. This is a process so it takes time.
- Ask yourself “How do I feel?” or “What do I feel” when you are alone, driving, creating, working, taking a shower, before you go to sleep, when you remember how your day was etc. Use every opportunity to connect to your emotions and realize what is truly happening on your emotional level;
- Remind yourself to ask yourself those questions by putting alarm on your mobile phone or clock. We tend to forget about us when we are not conscious or fully aware yet. So you need to help yourself to remember about yourself and alarm or reminder is perfect way. You can find your own unique way that suite you better.
2. “How do I feel?” ask yourself when you are in challenge
This is one of the most powerful moments for healing when you ask yourself: “How do I feel?” while you are in challenge. When we are in challenge through people, situations and / or diseases, then the opportunity to feel the vulnerability of emotional scar appears. Instead of focusing on the challenge by blaming, reacting, judging,… ask yourself this powerful question. With that question you redirect your focus within. Instead giving your power away you give it to yourself. Your inner power stays within you. By asking yourself a question and giving your inner body attention, you can feel your true vulnerability.
- Do not blame yourself if you forget to ask yourself that question. Once you become present enough in challenging situation your state of conscious will remind you;
- Keep repeating this exercise in any giving challenging moment. It will help you to become tune with yourself. From practicing you will align with natural and extremely powerful way of dealing with challenges in a healing way.
- Reaction is not healing. When you become emotional reactive, you have lost your presence. Do not worry if you are reactive. As long as you become aware that you need to practice presence and continue no matter how challenging it is, you are in the path of true healing. One day, stepping out of reactive state will happen spontaneously. So, do not give up. Keep continue and be gentle to yourself.
In order to redirect focus within and not being reactive when you are in challenge, your presence and alertness are necessary. Implement all of 5 golden tools into your daily life which will help you to tune with yourself and heal yourself throughout the day and night. So when you feel your emotional wounds, then you can heal it fully. And here comes the next step.
3. Allow yourself to feel vulnerable
Surrender and allow to feel what you are feeling, even though you might feel so small, worthless, powerless, weak, angry, nervous, fearful or in a bad mood…. Those are your wounds that can heal only with you allowing them to feel and at the same time not feel bad about it. Now, when the challenge comes in your life, it is more challenging to allow yourself to feel vulnerable. But when you give the wound your conscious space, you allow your life and body to heal and unfold from within.
You are not:
- weird or weak when you allow to feel your emotions;
- bad or horrible person;
- worse or bad than someone else;
Tips – How did I approach to my vulnerable state:
- If it was possible I went into the bathroom, I took the towel, put it on my mouth and gave my all emotions out by crying, screaming, yelling etc;
- As soon as I felt some weight coming to the surface, I did everything to gave my attention to that feeling and done what I felt that I want to do in that moment. Sometimes I was swearing so loudly, hitting the wall with my feast, went to workout and scream while exercising. Somehow it help me to release something that was hard to release;
- Sometimes I was also expressing the hatred towards someone by blaming, swearing or yelling. Which was fine, because I approach to my expression in a healing way by using the step number 4. If we are not using next step, then blaming does not dissolve in a healing way but it feed itself. Follow the next step that finalize healing of your emotional wounds;
- Feeling the emotions is actually healing your suffering. But now, continue with next step that teaches you how you approach to your emotional wounds in a healing way;
4. Hold the space for your wounds
When you feel the emotions, hold the space for them by observing them and not reacting to them. By not reacting on emotional wound means that you do not feed from the story of your wound. You do not get into the story that is playing within your emotional state and thoughts. Instead, you observe your story by being in the background as conscious space. You can help yourself by focusing on your breathing.
- feel your emotional wound and become the conscious watcher of your emotions;
- help yourself with separating from your wound by saying to yourself: “There it is”. For example when anger rises, say to yourself: “There is anger”. Once you indicate your wound as separate part of yourself, healing of this wound activates;
- have a loud conversation with yourself or someone close to you and express how this emotional wound looks like. For example: I feel this sadness coming to the surface. It is so heavy and painful. It reminds me on my childhood time when i felt alone. I feel it on my chest area and activates crying in my eyes. My throat becomes stiff and painful…. As you see, this emotional wound expression was about you, but you make it as separate part of yourself. This is helpful way to become the watcher and at the same time healing for your wounds.
- practice being present every single day. It becomes later on easier to approach to emotional wound with greatest alertness and will speed up your inner healing.
Step out of the bubble of your wounds, suffering and consciously heal it by being present. When you hold the space for your wounds you are healing them enormously.
When emotional wounds dissolve, the stillness and peacefulness awakens. You feel the shift from within. That is because low vibrations (wound) dissolves. And it can dissolve only when you open yourself to vulnerability and learn to approach it in a conscious way.
Signs that emotional wound is dissolved:
- you feel tired, exhausted but at the same time very peaceful;
- lightness appears in your body. It feels as though a huge weight dissolved from your body. That exactly had happen;
- all you want to do is lye in your bad and fell asleep – this is a sign of strong emotional wound being clear out;
- suddenly you feel no hurt, anger, hatred, resentments to what before you cleared out, was completely opposite. You feel love, presence, peace, lightness…Several days later you become amazed how something could make you so emotional upset. The reason is that this emotional wound is dissolved and does not make you reactive within you. Instead there is your conscious, shining through with its power and love;
- what felt so much difficult, it changes into solution or it dissolves;
- if you felt stuck, suddenly you become unstuck;
Some wounds are more challenging and will need a lot of your presence, conscious awareness and deepening then others. But with being present consciousness expands, increases its power which pushes out of the body wounds, even the darkest ones and dissolve them for ever.
That is the power of opening yourself to your vulnerability. Vulnerability is the portal to amazing healing. It becomes powerful when you learn to use it and when you allow yourself to be in touch with it.
Suzana Trnovsek/ Self-healing teaching