Panic attacks were one of the biggest challenges in my life. They appeared suddenly, as they would come from nowhere. For about first twenty and something years I have never dealt with any major health problem. Flu was the biggest one.
I still remember my peaceful enjoyment while watching the match when my first strong heart beat came to the surface. My heart was beating fast, loud and unstoppable. Shockingly. I had no idea what is happening to me and how to stop it. My thoughts went wild. Negative thoughts sounded so loud as though someone is speaking to me: “Omg, you will die. Your biggest fear is getting real.” After hearing those negative thoughts my panic attack got even worse. And that is how my panic attacks started to arose and increase on a regular basis.
In this period of my life the days became very insecure and scary. Through the following weeks those kind of panic surprises were on my almost every day basis. I never knew when the panic attack will appear again. It didn’t choose the »right« time. It just happened.
My panic attacks had spread in such a big way that they completely possessed my mind. I felt totally identified with my mind who tried to convince me that I am getting crazy. I was afraid of ending up in a mental hospital. The mind became unbearable, negative and destroyable. Sometimes, I was sobbing and losing control over myself, later walking in nature with my sister to calm me down. Everything around me looked blurry, unclear and in a way foggy. I was in deep unawareness of who I am. The situation was bad, intense and very exhausting for me and also my sister. Sometimes I felt insane. I didn’t see clearly my surroundings.
I was aware, if in those difficult times I would not have someone who understands me or completely supports me, I would be thrown into mental hospital. And that was also one of my biggest fears.For quite a while we were in this intense, dark period of time. Suzana has left behind her current job at that time and completely devoted her time to my healing.
Then one day I had one of the major panic attacks. I bagged Suzana to drive me into the hospital for calming injection or something. But she did not allow me. She strongly believed that I have the power to heal myself. She did not even for 1% doubted about her decision. Also, deeply aware of enormous power seeded within us. This knowingness was the same one that also helped her to heal all of her health problems since her childhood. She was calming me down and believed in me. After 15min the panic attack subsided.
Today I am totally free of panic attacks with the the help of self-healing awakening process. I feel deeply rooted in my Being. My body is healthy, light and without those low vibrating energies, fears and blockades. Self-healing process has saved me from further suffering and from any new diseases which could evolve through years. It has liberated me from the mind identification. Inner peace, inner freedom, love, health, inner power, rottenness, awareness and lightness are now present in my life.
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